Confessions from the Principal's Chair Read online

  "Chicken fever," said Kash, and he nodded his head like he wanted to agree with himself.

  I wasn't sure I had understood him. "Chicken fever?"

  "Yes, ma'am. Don't you know what that is?"

  This time I didn't even pretend to have any knowledge of what he was talking about. "No, tell me about it."

  "Well," he said, "my grandparents own a farm out west of town. I spend lots of time out there, and I've seen chicken fever. Two baby chickens get in a fight, pecking at each other. One makes the other bleed. If you don't get that little chicken out of the pen, the others will all turn on it, peck it to death." He shrugged. "Don't know why, but anyway, some kids are like that. They see that someone is getting pecked on. They see the blood, and they start to peck too."

  "You're right," I said, "and you are a very intelligent boy." I wanted to say handsome too, intelligent and awesomely handsome. "Would you like to help me put a stop to chicken fever in the eighth grade?"

  He looked at me for a minute, thinking. Then he nodded his head. "Always have hated to find a little chicken dead and bleeding. What can I do?"

  I told him that Serenity feared the water balloon fight because she knew Nicole and her group would turn on her. "I want to be ready to step in when they do."

  "You're going to tell them to stop?"

  "No," I said, "I want to bombard them with balloons, show them how it feels. The thing is, though, I may need help."

  His eyebrows wrinkled with worry. "I'd feel sort of funny hitting girls and all, if that's what you mean, especially Nicole."

  A cold feeling started around my heart. "Why especially Nicole?"

  "Remember yesterday how I told you I'd just called it quits with a girl?" I nodded, and he went on. "Well, Nicole is the girl. I don't know." He shrugged. "It would just feel funny hitting her like that."

  I stood up. "I understand," I said, and I hoped my voice didn't feel as sad as I felt. "You may go now, Kash."

  He got up slowly. "I could tell Hannah and Julie and maybe some of the other girls on Student Council to be ready to help you."

  "Thank you," I said.

  Kash was standing up now, but he didn't move toward the door. "Ms. Miller," he said, "you were going to explain about the note."

  I swallowed hard. I couldn't tell him now that I had written the note. I didn't feel like telling him that I wasn't the principal either. He could find it out with all the others, with his girlfriend Nicole. "Oh," I said. "I saw the girl who put the note in your basket. In fact, she stopped at my car to borrow the piece of paper." I sighed. "I've decided, though, not to tell you who she is. I don't think you could be interested in her. She has a really long neck."

  "I'm not much interested in having a new girlfriend right now anyway," he said, then he grinned. "Can't think of any girl in our school who has a long neck, though." He looked at me, and for a minute I thought his eyes went to my neck.

  When he left, I just sat at my desk and fought tears. Kash still had feelings for Nicole. I wondered why he broke up with her. It didn't make sense, but things like that happened. For instance, there was Lorraine and Carl, on Specific Hospital. I was so lost in thought that I had not noticed that Kash left the door open, or that Mrs. Simpson had come to push back the beads and stand in the doorway. "You look very sad," she said. "Dare I hope you have decided to call off the water balloon thing and now you are dreading to tell the students?"

  "No, the festival will go on. I am feeling down because Kash Edge doesn't like me." "I know you don't like for me to give you advice, dear, and I am fully aware that you have had a great many education courses. Still, I have to say this. Being well liked by the students should not be the goal of an administrator or teacher. Believe me, I've been around here long enough to have seen plenty and to have learned a thing or two. It really doesn't matter whether Kash Edge or any other student likes you. What you want is respect."

  I made myself smile. "Well, I think he does respect me, or at least he will when he sees how good I am at throwing water balloons. I've got to get ready now."

  "God help us," Mrs. Simpson said, and she closed the door.

  First I took my principal's pad and wrote my confession note. "Dear New Principal, My name is Robin Miller, just like yours. That's why I got to be principal here for two days instead of being a new girl in eighth grade. It was a huge amount of fun, and I learned a lot. You will find that the spaghetti is better in the cafeteria now, and I hope there will be less bullying in the eighth grade. I hope you will agree that those improvements aren't bad for just two days in this office. I have one bit of advice for you about Mrs. Simpson. She is a nice person, but don't let her tell you what to do. I think you will like this school. I imagine I will be one of the first students you have to punish, so I guess we will meet soon. Most sincerely, Robin (BTW, call me 'Bird') Miller." I reread the note and was pleased with it. I did write, "P.S. If you need help, I recommend Madam Zelda at the Psychic Emergency Line."

  Next I locked my office door, stripped off the suit, and put on my jeans, a big T-shirt, and my sneakers. I opened the closet because I had seen a mirror on the door. I let down my hair from the knot and brushed it. Then I put it up in a pony tail. Next I touched up my lipstick. When I was finished, I looked at myself for a long time. "Where have you been, Bird?" I asked out loud. "You've waited long enough. It is time for the students of Thomas Jefferson Middle School to meet you."

  The Student Council kids had a long table set up, and it was already filled with balloons. They also had rolls of blue tickets. "Each kid gets four tickets," Hannah told me. "Tickets can be exchanged for water balloons. We don't want any one person to hog them, you know." She pointed toward her right where several red wagons stood. They were full of more balloons. "Student Council members will deliver more ammunition in exchange for tickets."

  A man with a camera and a notepad was running around talking to people. Hannah told me he was a reporter from the newspaper over in Ponca City. "I called them," she said. "I think we should be in the paper, since it's the coolest thing the Student Council has ever done."

  The man came over to take my picture with Hannah. "The principal and the student organizer," he said before he pushed the button. "I don't think anyone could guess which is older, not by looks."

  "Getting the newspaper was good thinking, Hannah," I said when the photographer was finished. "You've done a great job." I started to walk away, but Hannah wasn't finished.

  "Oh, Ms. Miller, wait. I have something I want to tell you."

  I turned back to her. "Okay."

  "Dennis sinned," she said, and she smiled.

  "And who is Dennis?"

  She didn't answer just asked, "Do geese see God?"

  I put my hand on her shoulder. "Hannah, you are certainly into theological issues today."

  "Huh?"

  "Theological, means having to do with God, religion, stuff like that."

  She laughed. "No," she said. "They're palindromes. 'Dennis sinned', and 'do geese see God' are the same backward as forward."

  "You're right, Hannah. Maybe after this water balloon festival, you should talk to the principal about trying for the palindrome record."

  Hannah smiled. "I'll come into the office to talk to you about it. You are just the coolest principal ever."

  "I certainly hope the principal of this school will always be cool." The school door opened. "Look," I said. "Here come our fighters."

  As the kids came out, Coach Pickle organized them into two sides. From the numbers, I figured there weren't many in the library doing research on global warming.

  Serenity was near the end of her line. I noticed that Nicole, Katelin, Caitlyn, and Ashley (all wearing their purple jackets) had piles of balloons. I could see them watching Serenity, who brought her balloons over to stand not far from me. I took a few balloons myself. When the last kid had ammunition, Coach Pickle blew his whistle. "All right, people, we expect you to play fair. Prairie Dogs always do." I saw the Purples laug
hing. The coach was still talking. "No one should be hit in the neck, face, or head. Come out throwing," he yelled.

  Right off I felt a balloon hit me between the shoulders. I whirled around. Mrs. Simpson had come out the door. There were no balloons in her hands. She waved at me. I was trying to decide whether she had thrown them at me, when I heard Serenity yell. As I turned, two balloons smashed into her chest. One at a time, I hurled my balloons at Nicole.

  I wished for more ammunition, but balloons from somewhere were hitting the purple coats. Then I saw them. Hannah and four girls I didn't know were behind the Purples, and they were throwing balloon after balloon at them. Then I saw something that made me jump up and shout, "Yes!"

  Kash was behind Hannah, hunkered down beside a red wagon full of balloons, and he handed them off quickly to Hannah and her friends.

  "Stop it!" yelled Nicole. "None of you are following the rules. Kash Edge, you are helping them be mean."

  I opened my mouth to interfere, but Kash could take care of himself. "We're not being mean." He stood up and walked closer to the Purples. "We're the people who make sure no one gets picked on."

  "I am not picking on anyone." Nicole's voice sounded near tears. "We're just having fun with Serenity, just girl stuff. You don't understand. That's all." She turned her back. "Come on," she said to the other Purples. "Let's get out of here."

  Just then Coach Pickle yelled, "Game's over. You did a good job of following the rules. Get your towels and dry off. Bell's about to ring."

  "Coach," I shouted. "I have one announcement." I walked over to the Student Council table and climbed on it. "Prairie Dogs!" I yelled. "The weatherman says tomorrow may be our last day of Indian summer. Let's meet the sun with skin! No dress code for tomorrow. Wear short shorts, crop tops, let those midriffs show, tank tops, muscles shirts, no rules!" The crowd cheered. I stood on that table and looked out at the Prairie Dogs, and I knew I was having my last look at them as their principal.

  I climbed down and looked around for Kash, but I couldn't see him in the group of wet kids who were hurrying toward the school door. I would have to wait to tell him who I was and who had written the note.

  I made my way back to the office. Mrs. Simpson was at her desk. "Well," she said, "I have to say it wasn't as bad as I expected. I can see why the kids enjoyed it so much." She had a little smile around her lips, and I was pretty sure she had thrown the balloon at me.

  I smiled back at her. "I'll be in my office for a while. Please see that no one disturbs me. After I change my clothes, I have a very important phone call to make." All the time I dried and dressed, I planned what I would say on the phone. When I was dressed, I took the phone, asked for a number in Chicago, and made the call that would change all our lives.

  Chapter 9

  Here is what happened later, and I've pretty much put it all in order as far as when it happened. I called Marcy Willis, and I told her that I was sorry. At first she thought it was a trick of some kind, but before I hung up, she knew I was serious.

  I confessed all about being principal to Rendi, who tried to act like she thought what I did was terrible, but who couldn't carry off the part about being mad at me because she was so proud of the part about me helping Serenity.

  I went to school Wednesday thinking the new principal might make me roadkill. "Just sit over there," Mrs. Simpson said when I came into the office. "The principal" (she gave me a hard look) "is on the phone with the superintendent. They are deciding what to do with you. We don't like being lied to around here."

  I couldn't say I was sorry for what I had done. I mean it was a great amount of fun and besides, I really learned a lot. I could see, though, that Mrs. Simpson resented being fooled by a kid, and I honestly did feel bad about that.

  "You were so nice to me," I said, almost whispering. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."

  She looked up at me. Her eyes were cold at first, but then they changed, and a little grin started around her mouth. "Well," she said. "I did hit you with a water balloon. We'll call it even. You won't get off so easily in there, though." She leaned her head toward the principal's office.

  I went over to sit down, and after what seemed like a long time, Ms. Miller came to the door to call me into her office. She was a pretty woman, dressed very stylishly in gaucho pants with boots. Her neck was the perfect length too. I figured even Angie Bradford would have to approve of her looks. "I have your beads and things." She pointed to a box with my stuff in it. "I'll give them back to you if we don't need to hold them for evidence."

  I swallowed hard. Did she mean there would be a regular trial with a judge and everything? "You may sit down." I took the chair beside the door, and I wondered how long I would have to sit there.

  Right off she wanted to know why I would do such a thing. I tried to think of some good-sounding reason, but I couldn't. "Well, it wasn't premeditated or anything." I knew people got in less trouble for crimes if they weren't planned.

  "I guess when I got the chance . . . I mean Mrs. Simpson told me to come right into my office." I shrugged. "I guess the temptation was just too great."

  Ms. Miller told me that some of the teachers had asked her not to be too hard on me. That's when she smiled at me for the first time. "I think Coach Pickle is disappointed that you won't be his boss," she said, but then she brought up Madam Zelda.

  I confessed that I knew the phone bill was going to be pretty bad, and Ms. Miller said I would have to pay it. I thought I would ask my grandparents for the money, but Ms. Miller said I should have to work for it. She called Rendi, who called Judy, and they all decided that I could work in the cafe after school until my bill was paid.

  I did not tell Ms. Miller about the phone call I had made to Chicago, because nothing was definite yet. When I first called, it seemed like no one would talk to me, but then I got hold of the right person and got listened to. Still, the people in Chicago had to have a meeting or something and then if they decided to "explore the possibility further" (their words), they would call the school to verify that I hadn't made the whole story up. I thought it would be best if the people in Chicago told Ms. Miller my stupendous idea.

  I left the office knowing I had lots of detention to do and lots of work as a waitress in front of me. All over the building that day you could see a lot of skin. I mean they couldn't make everyone go home and change could they? When I went into second period English class (I didn't make it to first period because of all the waiting and discussing in the office), all the kids stood up and cheered, even Nicole. Mrs. Hoover, the teacher, asked me where I wanted to sit, and I was thrilled because there was an empty seat right behind Kash Edge, but I was disappointed because he didn't mention the note. I mean, I was pretty sure he had figured out by that time that I wrote the note, don't you think?

  The Opal show came to Thomas Jefferson Middle School in Prairie Dog Town, Oklahoma! Yes! You heard me. That was the phone call to Chicago. I called up the producers of the show and told them my story. I told them everything, all about Denver and the Six-Pack and Marcy and the slight misunderstanding that made me the principal and about Serenity and the Purples. BTW, I guess I didn't really tell them everything because I did not mention Kash Edge. I mean what could I say except that he obviously was not interested in being my boyfriend and that at first I thought it was because of Nicole, but it wasn't, so then I was pretty sure it was because of my long neck. The producers had to talk before they called the new principal, but I think I told you that, and I don't want to go repeating myself and stuff. Anyway, by noon, we knew the show was coming, and everyone thought that was so cool and they seemed to think I was cool too.

  On the day before the show was filmed, I woke up really excited. I guess everyone in the whole town of Prairie Dog Town (which of course is not a huge amount of people) woke up excited too. I mean, everyone knew Opal would be coming to our town tomorrow. The filming would take place in the gym, where a temporary stage was being built on one end of the basketball court. />
  I had talked to the producers plenty, and they had spent lots of time with Coach Pickle getting stuff ready in the gym. On that morning before the show, I woke up knowing I would see Ivory and Katie again. At first I thought the show was going to bring all five remaining members of the Six-Pack, but then they decided to leave off Felicity, Taylor, and Stephanie because that would be too many to interview. I was glad. I mean, it would be hard enough to face Ivory without her followers to give her strength.

  They were being flown into Oklahoma City, where they would be met by one of the TV producers who would bring them to Prairie Dog Town. Mrs. Morford, Katie's mother, was coming with them. So was Marcy Willis. They would be staying at a motel in Ponca City, but the producer would bring them to our school just about the time school was out for the day.

  The Denver girls were going to be the guests of our school for a big pizza party and dance in the gym after school. My favorite of the Opal team was Shan, a cool woman with the most beautiful straight black hair. She wore it twisted and hanging down her back. She liked me too. I could tell she wasn't just being nice to me because it was her job and stuff. Shan called me at home before I left for school that morning. "Great news, Bird, I am going to the airport in Oklahoma City with a cameraman to get shots of the kids as they come off the plane. I have permission to take you to Oklahoma City with me so you can meet your friends and ride back here with them. We just need to make sure your mother is cool with that."

  I twisted my face into all sort of contortions and tried to think what I wanted to do. I knew it would be a blast to ride with Shan. We would talk heart-to-heart all the way, and she would tell me more funny stories about things that have happened on the show. The thing was, though, if I went I would be standing there in the airport when the girls came walking off the plane.

  I didn't mind seeing Marcy because we'd made our peace, and I would be glad to see Katie. Ivory, that was completely different. Oh, sure I knew she had mixed feelings. I mean it was exciting to get out of school and go flying off to be on the Opal show. Shan had told me that Ivory told everyone she had learned her lesson. None of that fooled me. I knew Ivory had to resent what I had done too, and Ivory always made people pay.